October is Breast Cancer Awareness month developed to help spread the word. Breast cancer is the leader among cancer related deaths among women affecting 1 in 8 women the United States as reported by Breast Cancer Prevention Partners. Varying risk of breast cancer depends on a number of different variables; and, let’s not forget that men are affected by breast cancer too just not at the rate of women. With that said, Breast Cancer Awareness month is important to spread the word because we know that early detection of breast cancer saves lives.
Many of you know that I battled breast cancer many years ago; and, that I have had a number friends that have battled breast cancer too. I have participated in support groups; some ran by big organizations and some smaller self-selected support groups. I have been the recipient of group support and the supporter. So, I have experienced both sides.
Think about it, I’m sure that you don’t have to cast your network too wide to know of someone who has battled or is currently battling breast cancer. Unfortunately, while it is a common disease when being told about a loved one, friend, colleague or acquaintance’s diagnosis we can make insensitive comments. We need to just pause before we react after someone we love or know tells us that she has been diagnosed with breast cancer.
In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Sonya’s Blog will tackle a two part series that will cover the Do’s and Don’ts in supporting a loved one through diagnosis, treatment and recovery.
Someone close to you has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Don’t do these 10 things!
#1. Don’t interrupt while the person is sharing the breast cancer diagnosis.
#2. Don’t ask a lot of questions; honestly, she probably doesn’t have a lot of answers.
#3. Don’t tell the person why you think it’s her fault that she has breast cancer (i.e. diet, using deodorant, eating red meat, not drinking enough water or any other theory that you have adopted). It’s your theory. Keep it to yourself!
#4. Don’t feel sorry for the person. She is telling you for your support not your pity.
#5. Don’t cry more than her. At that point, it becomes more about you. Sure you’re upset, but it’s not you and now you’re making it about you and your fears.
#6. Don’t tell her horror stories of the people that you know died of the disease.
#7. Don’t ask her how she’s feeling after a chemo treatment, surgery, radiation or any other procedure; just assume not great.
#8. Don’t ask her to see or touch her bald head, breast implants, scars or anything else personal on her body.
#9. Don’t push her to do things she did pre-treatment; she would if she could and it will take time.
#10. . Don’t tell her business to others. If she wants them to know, she will tell them.
All of the above “don’ts” seem insensitive and like easy asks, right? Believe me, you would be surprised what people say to people going through a breast cancer battle. So next time, you have the privilege of being in the presence of a “warrior”, pause and let her do all of the talking because there are no words other than Sonya’s Blog: Part II “Do these 10 things when you know someone has breast cancer” coming October 19, 2023.
For all of you receiving a breast cancer diagnosis; and, those of you going through treatment, I see you and I have been there too. Stay strong, focus on you and you will move forward!
Interested in hearing about my journey? Here are additional posts:
October is breast cancer awareness month: My Breast Cancer Journey: Post III
October is breast cancer awareness month: My Breast Cancer Journey: Post II
October is breast cancer awareness month: My Breast Cancer Journey Post